Sometimes, circumstances throw me into song. This week, it was an oldie but a goodie... Needles & Pins. Everything seemed to be going as planned. I approached a room with white walls, it was sterile and cold. The bed was situated in the middle of the room and the mood felt dreary and uninviting.
My eyes focused on a tray layered with six syringes. I knew they were for me. I layed down, closed my eyes and began singing the tune in my head, Needles & Pins. I imagined myself laying on a beach being warmed by sunny skies with palm trees gently blowing in the wind. It was peaceful. At least until I felt the cold gel on my neck. The ultrasound had begun and the search for tumors became my new resort of sorts. When I opened my eyes, the room was empty.
I saw my doctor in the distance talking with the ultrasound technician. She said, 'We can't find the tumors,' Huh? No tumors? My first thought was... Is this a sick joke? Truth is, I wasn't too terribly disappointed. For a split second, I felt like the lucky recipient of a miracle. That is, until the doctor explained it away by saying the first ultrasound was probably faulty. Faulty? Is that possible? What kind of Voodoo medicine is this?
A gnawing feeling overcame me. My gut said I wasn't imagining this. I knew I had lumps in my neck... they were obvious. So, how could this doctor explain them away? I needed a third opinion, and off I went to my primary care physician. When I relayed the details to him, he was stunned. He ordered another ultrasound. And sadly, as my tumors reappeared, my brief encounter with a miracle disappeared.
I've never been a fan of magical disappearing acts, and I've kind of outgrown the game of Hide and Seek. Perhaps there's a lesson to be learned here, but I'm not exactly sure what it is... yet. My hour of reckoning with the all-too-familiar ultrasound machine is quickly approaching, and I'm hopeful this time my biopsy will go off without a hitch stitch ;-) In the meantime, it's Needles & Pins.
*** UPDATE *** The biopsy went well today... painful... but well. Happy that part is over... now we wait. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers everyone... you warm my heart and soul ;-)
Melinda Peterson ~ Principal Broker/Owner
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Mel, I too wish you the very best. Hopefully, everything will turn out OK. Keep smiling!:)
Mel
I don't know you except through reading what you share with me and others here. It is not my normal course to state very personal things about people without knowing them but there is one thing absolutely evident to me. You are a kind, special soul and I will do all that I can to send you the energy, faith & prayers I have to help you overcome this. I can't imagine not having you here.
Stay Strong Mel!! Sending you good vibes from CA. :)
Wishing you the best Mel as you go through this uncertain time. Prayers of comfort to surround you too!
Thanks Joanna ~ I'm always smiling ;-)
Ahhh Curtis... how incredibly sweet you are! I appreciate the warm thoughts and prayers too... one can never get enough of both in my book. I believe it's going to be okay. Thank you kind friend!
I will indeed Victor! And I totally appreciate the good vibes from Cali... especially since I'm a native ;-)
Thank you sweetie! I get strength from writing about it... and I'll certainly let you know the outcome Wanda!
Sorry to hear this, Mel. Do they know what these lumps could be? Is it the lymph nodes? I had Hodgkins 30 years ago if you want to talk....
Mel, If you're interested in a Third Opinion, you know who to call. Obviously, I'm not a real doctor, but I can distract you and make you smile, as we all await the outcome of your biopsy. My Lovely Little Lumps Dance. Does this dance qualify as Zumba? My positive thoughts, positive energy and best wishes are with you.
Mel-Sending you lots of prayers, hugs and ALL good thoughts that you will be fine and on the road to recovery from all things VOODOO. Thank you for the update on what is happening.
Mel, worrisome health problems are like this weight around your neck. Prayers for a very happy ending for you are sent right away. Take care my friend....
Mel - I'm all for 3rd opinions. I also believe in the power of faith and so my friend I will pray that those lumps were just a fluke and you're A Okay! Keep the faith and stay strong.
Mel, before I was a Realtor® I owned a video production company YourStorys which did more than 20 videos of survivors of all sorts of terminal diseases like Mesothelioma, melanoma, pediatric brain cancer, etc...That is not important. What is important is what I learned.
Survivors get a second and a third and a fourth opinion. They keep looking for the best doctor who knows the answer.
Survivors have emotional and physical support from those around them.
Survivors are not afraid to reach out for help and talk about the issues. To me reading your blogs as I do I know you are a survivor. There is a great deal of love for you here and I along with all the people above are sending you more love and support in your quest to have this over and done with. Be well and keep smiling naked blogger.
Oh Mel - what an emotional roller coaster! I'm sending lots of positive vibes and hugs your way.
Mel,
We are sending you oceans of postive thoughts and wishing you the best outcome possible. Hugs, A
Hi Jane! Welcome home sweetie! Yes, the origin of the lumps is my thyroid, which is one of the best areas to treat. But I'm more amazed you have survived Hodgkins for more than 30 years... That's a Wow my friend... and I'm so happy for you!
I'd say it comes awfully close Richard! And so Hilarious too... you know right where my funny bone is.. I needed to laugh today and you always know the right thing to say... lots of smiles funny boy ;))) Thank you!
'On the road to recovery from all things Voodoo'... OMG, Sharon, that made me LOL!
Indeed Gary... it's been a weight around my neck! Thank you for thinking of me... friend!
Kindness exudes you my friend from the Q... thank you John! I believe too!
I'm interested in hearing YourStory Larry... sounds fascinating and right up my alley! I so appreciate your lovely thoughts and being a faithful reader of my blog... blessings to you today my friend... I will survive ;)))
Oh Nancy, I couldn't have described it any better than you just did my dear! Thank you so much for the good vibes and hugs... I appreciate them both!
Oceans of positive thoughts sounds absolutely lovely right about now Alexandra! As soon as I feel well enough, I'm going to take a little trip to SB to see you! Thank you Sweetie!
Hi Mel, My son just had a biopsy for a tumor in his neck which we scheduled surgury to remove it. Fortunately his is benign. I'm hoping all the best for you! Sending positive thoughts your way!
Laughter is the best medicine my wonderful friend so i am glad I made you laugh. I love Larry's comment. You are a survivor my friend and we all support and love you very much. Never ending flow of hugs, prayers and naked and real love for you my friend.
Mel
My prays are with you, be well.
Good luck and success.
Lou Ludwig
Thanks Cindy! Mine is related to my thyroid... wondering if your son's was related to anything? Very happy to hear it was benign... I'm hoping for the same good news!
I loved it too Sharon! And I'm definitely feeling the love from my AR friends... you are the best sweet lady. I'm sending hugs back atcha!
Thanks so much Lou... I'm surrounded by well wishers ;-)))
Hi Mel, not his thyroid, just one of those tumors that grow..he was complaining of jaw pain. Fortunately he listened to his mother and went to the dentist & doctor who referred him to this specialist. Thyroid..that stinks...I too hope you get that same news! It's never fun having to go through all those tests..but thank God they have em.
All things are possible thru the power of prayer and from I see you have many great friends among the thousands all praying for you. And guess what, not only does all of Google hear our prayers but so does 1 very important connection and it is thru him that all things are possible.
May God Bless you and keep you safe.
Cindy ~ I'm glad that smart boy listened to his mama ;)
Thanks for the encouragement Kevin... I totally agree!
Hey, beautiful~Your continuous perserverance and positive attitude can heal ANYTHING. You've battled much in your life, with your head held high and honor and integrity with a dash of humor seem to have been the remedies that continue to heal you. We, your friends love you dearly and surround you with white light and prayers. I know that works.
Remember there is a place at the lake that awaits you...
Hey Mel - sorry you're having to go through getting stuck, and scanned, and poked repeatedly, but you're doing the right things to take care of you! It's never easy getting the answer (especially with thyroid stuff), but I have complete faith you'll track it down and tackle it with abandon. Meanwhile, I'm sending strong, healthy thoughts your way!! :)
Mel, this is a newly developed cure from the Cedars Brinai medical clinic.
PIN and NEEDLES, NEEDLES and PINS
Uber positive thoughts to a chickapoo more powerful than anything coming her way! Brian
You have been on a roller coaster Mel. Thanks for sharing your experience with us, you are an inspiration. I love your good spirited attitude toward all things.
Mel ~~~
remember: whenever you chose to withdraw... remember the mysterious mountain ....filled with oceans of warmth and love coming unconditional your way...from all your brave AR friends.
You will cross the Rubicon!
Would you like me to send you distant Reiki healing?
PS ...a few moments ago, I expressed my gratitude to Kathleen Daniels of being so glad to be connected and able to open blogs again today; as Curtis #3 and so many other brave followers of you shared, there is a army of passionate veterans, very private and loaded with that scent of chivalry and respect of beyond, who are with you...because at times in need, you too enriched our and our loved ones lifes. Shalom. Peter
Gayle ~ I'm so looking forward to some quiet rebel rousing at Fishhawk Lake. Thank you for the lovely encouragement... it warmed my heart!
Mary Elizabeth ~ Stuck, scanned and poked is definitely not my favorite past-time... but I did manage to laugh about some of it. Next time (if there is a next time) I'm going to down a few drinks first... especially before the hokey pokey begins!
Brian ~ Does Cedar Brinai Medical Center offer alternative medicine... not of the Voodoo variety? ;) Thanks for the uber positive thoughts!
It sure seems like it Tom! My real therapy comes from writing... I hope it's not too painful to read ;)
Sounds like you're speaking in tongues... Peter ;) But I love the healing thoughts and I'm open to just about anything that will improve my spiritual, emotional and physical mood.
Mel, so sorry to hear about this...only my best wishes and hopes for you.
Mel ~ I, too, am sorry to just hear about this. My thoughts and prayers are being sent your way. Keep your head up and your thoughts positive!
I appreciate that Nick! And thank you for the good wishes ;)
No worries Dawn... I'm thrilled with the outcome! Thanks for stopping by sweetie!
I know you will be fine. You have a great attitude. And, thank you for your friendship. You have mine back...along with prayers.
That's very sweet... thank you Don!