When Lightening Strikes the Heart... Today, a seller stopped by my office to chat with one of my agents about short selling her home. In the course of the conversation, Mrs. Seller got very emotional and started to cry. It was a moment that moved everyone in the room.
This crazy market has affected so many people... good people, intelligent people, hard-working people. What has emerged from this storm is genuine raw emotion and human frailty. People are seeking answers to some very tough questions and we have the opportunity to offer them shelter of a different kind. Perhaps the answer should come in the form of a hug, or a kind gesture, or simply telling them that everything is going to be alright. There's something comforting in knowing that you're not alone in your circumstances and that somebody truly cares.
Sometimes, our professional courtesy must extend beyond the scope of our expertise. Not in the traditional sense... but in matters of the heart. In addition to selling real estate, we are counselors, psychologists, pastors, priests, visionaries and motivators. We help people see their way when there seems to be no way. We offer hope when there appears to be no hope. We display a sense of calm in the midst of the storm. And when lightening strikes the heart, we rise to the occasion by reaching out and touching someone. And when the storm finally clears, we help those around us pick up the pieces to their lives so they can begin again. That's what we do.
Mel, That is what we do, we do it often and we do it well...especially you. It's people first all the time.
Absolutely, I agree with you! Isn't that how we build those life-long relationships? And we're supposed to "Cry with those who cry and rejoice with those who rejoice!"
Melinda- it's the personal caring that sets you apart from others. When we were in Houston we worked with our Realtor who became a friend and would not have thought of calling anyone else. Many years have passed and we are still in contact.
Melinda I could not agree with you more. Usually by the time the real estate relationship has ended there have been a lot of emotions that have been exposed and things discussed one would have never thought they would in a business relationship, but we are always more than just a business relationship are we not?
I think all of your clients from the different things I have read that you have written are quite fortunate to have you represent them in any transaction.
Mary
Melinda, Home owners have to come to terms with many emotions when doing a real estate transaction. Sometimes it's joy. Sometimes it's disappointment.
Melinda, this profession is so full of heart moments. And I just love this post.
Melinda ~ you are so right. I just got off the phone with a very upset buyer and I had to step out of the REALTOR mode into a therapist roll. Emotions can certainly run deep. I hit the suggest button!
Melinda,
Very true. As you know the relationship between a client and Realtor can become very personal. Just watch their reaction when you tell them you're taking a vacation. Some would rather have their listing off the market during your vacation than accept a well-qualified substitute agent while you're gone.
I have had more than my share of crying sellers and I'm too affected by it. I'd rather be yelled at, cursed at, screamed at, but please don't cry. I'll waive my entire commission and even pay them if they stop crying. It's not good for my business.
This so struck a chord with me Melinda. I talk to "broken" people everyday and can see how this market has brought them to their knees. I know as professionals we're all feeling the stress, but being there for someone in their time of need is a blessing to them and us.
Real estate has always been very emotional for buyers and sellers, but certainly in this market more so. And I have always found myself drawn into their emotions as I am by my very nature a very emotional person.
Mel, had an interesting meeting today with a new seller. Although his property is a piece of ca-ca, we got into an interesting ocnversation. In less than 45 minutes, he had told us that he had a near-death experience when having a heart attack. It was an absolutely riveting storyline, and then just before we left he told us about being visited by a ghost of a man that he was the last to see before he died. We talked about God, spirituality, the fact that he lost his "fat suit" (his words!) when he was "dead" and he promised to give us some good listings in the future!
Chas ~ I'm certain you lend a shoulder to those in need too ;)
Linda ~ "Cry with those who cry and rejoice with those who rejoice!"
Kathy ~ Our clients always remember our random acts of kindness!
Very sweet Mary! And it takes one to know one my dear!
There's a whole lot more disappointment these days Donna ;(
Thank you my dear Patricia... a woman with a big heart!
Melinda, Some of the most special words that I have read in a long time, came from your post, "We help people see their way when there seems to be no way. We offer hope when there appears to be no hope. We display a sense of calm in the midst of the storm". If anyone in Oregon, needs a hug, I can give them the name of the best hugger in town. YOUR WORDS are a hug to those that are not with you. Thank you for sharing and best wishes always.
Mighty kind of you Dawn... and we certainly wear many hats, don't we!
Lloyd... Keep a box of Kleenex and a shoulder handy my friend ;)
Don ~ These are regular folks like you and me, who were hit by a tsunami they couldn't see coming.
You echoed my sentiment so clearly Rebekah! Bless you for blessing others ;)
I know that about you Tammy! You have a great way of connecting with people!
Wow Gayle, that's a story! Sometimes, just listening does the trick!
That is very sweet Richard! Sending you some Yogi {{{HUGS}}}
Hi Melinda,
It's so nice to read of your compassion, the entire world can use more of it. Obviously so many out there are dealing with life diappointments, I share your thoughts and actions when it comes the feelings of others. At time the smallest things we can do could be comforting.
Compassion is the capacity that draws us in and impels us to act on the suffering and vulnerability of another, which you have in abundance, Mel. B
Thank you Lynda! 'My experience is that people who have been through painful, difficult times are filled with compassion.' ~ Amy Grant
That was lovely Brian! Here's a fav from one of my favs... 'How will the value of your days be measured? What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave. What will matter is not your success but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage, or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.' ~ Michael Josephson ;-)
First off, that is an INCREDIBLE picture. But the truth of the matter is, there are not many days that we work when this is not a reality any more. I have said dozens of times (but from the beginning, not just in this market) that we need a four year degree in psychology to deal with all that we encounter. Now, even more so. We used to sell houses and (hopefully) impact peoples lives in wonderful ways. Now we help hold people together as those houses often represent the crumbling of everything they thought they knew. This was an excellent post, Melinda.
Melinda, this is so very true. I love all the heartfelt and thoughtful comments from all of these contributers. Aren't we lucky to have so MANY wonderful and compassionate people in Active Rain?
It's amazing how few "Realtors" give the industry a bad name, I wish I could put this post and the comments in front of every potential buyer and seller who considers us a "necessary evil."
Many of the above comments, including your original post, represent the best, not only in this profession, but in people. Hurray for opening the floodgates to compassion, Melinda.
Mimi ~ We're certainly the glue that holds it all together at times! Thanks Mimi.
Thank you Debb ~ A very eloquent and heartfelt response my friend ;)
Melinda,
We have a close friend going through that. What is sad is how (banks and their employees in some instances treat these people badly) and act that these people are deadbeats and evil. Like you said, they need a hug and compassion. And let's face it, we all face some dire circumstances, and kindness is paramount. A
Yep - sometimes before people need us as real estate professionals, they need us even more as compassionate human beings willing to listen and care.
And you never read about these tales anywhere but here!! The siddity MSN Money and Yahoo Real Estate NEVER have the hard core tales of what millions of home owners are going through. Short selling in a down market with no buyers . . . the dirty "F" word 'round the corner . . . and our lazy, lousy government (of the people, by the people, for the people , blah, blah, blah) is BLIND, DEAF and DUMB all of a sudden.
Yes, the last few years have been hard on so many of us. It can be depressing.
Well said Melinda. Things are tough out there and bad things happen to good people. I'm glad this seller has such an understanding and kind Realtor like you. :)
Alexandra ~ Kindness and compassion are paramount for sure!
Nancy ~ Listening and caring is an art in this profession!
Carla ~ Do you need a hug girl? I hear ya!
Krista ~ Aren't you sitting on the 99 with a wobbly tire?!
Amanda ~ Good and evil rains on everyone, it's not a respecter of persons.
Living in Arizona I know exactly how you feel. Good, hardworking people are in the position of losing their home, whether through foreclosure or short sale. It has been a devestating time in this market and sometimes it is difficult to keep people's feelings in perspective. We talk about SS and Foreclosures everyday as if they are the norm (which they basically have become here) and often time forget these are real people, families, losing their homes. This is our chance as agents to leave an unforgettable impression on them if we can be there for them and support them in their time of hardship and need.
Melinda,
Yes...those sellers doing a short sale are, for the most part, in a bad place. They are losing their home. Some have made bad financial decisions. Some have been victims of inappropriate loans. Some have fallen on hard times because of illness, job loss, or other life changing events over which they had no control. During my first interview with a short sale seller I always make the point that, no matter what else happens, no matter what other circumstances arise, I know that they are LOSING THEIR HOME and I am very sorry to be doing business with them under the circumstances.
Awesome post!
I logged out, saw it pop in as a feature, the title intrigued me, so I read it. This post is SO good I had to log back into comment...
Excellent words and you are SPOT ON, on this! Many times we have to go outside of our scope of duties and by doing so you not only become human, you become a friend to someone who is in need. That is what its ALL about!!!!!!
To bad I couldnt suggest this, as I would have, but very glad I caught it anyway!
I have certainly had my share of seller clients cry after presenting my CMA and telling them the value of their home is a lot less than they had expected. Whether we like it or not, this is "the New Normal".
Tricia ~ I couldn't have said it better myself! Right on girl!
John ~ It's an opportunity to shine a light in their life which they might otherwise never see!
David ~ Very sweet of you to stop by and post a 'SPOT ON' comment! And thank you kindly for your 'suggest' vote... apparently someone beat you to it!
Bob ~ The new normal feels anything but normal ;( However, it does allow us an opportunity to rise to the occasion!
Awesome post..you hit the nail on the head with this one !!
Very touching. I have a tough situation now with renters not allowing a short sale to be shown. I really feel for them.....it is very uncomfortable.
Back to say congrats! You and Gayle, two of my favorite Northwest gals both made the big board today. Love it.
Melinda, outstanding graphic with words to match. If it were only a few homeowners that had this problem would be much different. The fact is so many homeowners reach a point where they have to do somethnig, they are forced to make a decision. It's great that a good REALTOR® can be there for them.
It's sad that there are agents out there without a heart - it's all about the money. Now more than ever, people do need someone who cares. Thank goodness that's the majority of the agents I meet.
Thanks Cory! If I had a hammer... ;)
#35 ~ Thank you for your comment. Sounds like you both need a hug!
Awww Debb ~ So nice of you to come back with a congrats... you kind soul you!
Pamela ~ Yes... the heart matches the heartfelt message ;)
Let's hope the heartfelt ones out number the heartless ones Karen!
This is horrible but yet it is everyday for us, right?
I was on a listing where the seller left the room for a few minutes. Her husband explained that she was upset because they were leaving their house of 30 years and likely would leave with nothing, no equity left.
It is sad.
I put a sign in the front yard today of a beautiful home. When I went to the door, the daughter of the owner was in tears. You see, this had been her mom's retirement dream home. She had planned it from the ground up-right down to the lilac bathroom, which is now a muted tan. She did everything right. Worked hard all her life, retired to a comfortable home with hobbies and friends abounding. And lung cancer took her at 67. Yea, it's not just about the money.
Very well put. Buying a home isn't only the biggest financial transaction someone will probably ever make, but it's one of the most personal... a home is the setting for our lives. Personal feelings can't help but come into play.
Gretchen
Melinda - There is so much more we can do to help people these days other than just sell homes. It's an important part of what we do in this market.
I get tears of sadness and fear at short sale listing appointments and tears of joy and relief at short sale closings.
hi Melinda ~ what a beautifully written post, with the true sentiment of one who helps others in trying times. It's not all about the money!
Erica ~ That's exactly the raw emotion that we deal with on a daily basis!
How incredibly sad Jeanne! I hope you were able to offer light in the midst of such darkness.
Thank you Gretchen ~ It's important for us to remember we're dealing with people's lives.
Totally agree Christine! We can offer a smile, a hug, a caring word.
Funny, but so true Dave! Thanks for making a serious subject light-hearted ;)
Thank you Maureen. We have so many opportunities to offer hope and compassion!
eddo brought tears...(really!) sooo accurate & true! Big Hug & Great Post! I wish I were closer to Oregon...& thought about Seattle half of my life...but there is gratitude from Florida for this post. I promise! What a great gift you possess. Thanks again.
sorry somehow typed the code into the wrong space when I went to post & didn't see it...
Many, many people have indeed been crushed by the fraudulent activities of the criminal banking syndicates and their accomplices in Washington. It is a sad time we live in . . .
Pam ~ Thank you for your lovely comments. {{{HUGS}}} back at ya sweetie! And, thanks for the re-post!
It is sad John! And so many people are feeling despair as a result. Bless you for helping them!
Melinda, Your seller found her way to the right real estate office. Sounds like your agents are compassionate and caring, just like you! Very nice post!
Melinda, thanks for the post. It seems like you are approaching this crazy market with the right attitude. Congrats!
Melinda, well said. Most people do not realize the human side of the equation.
Thank you Rose... beautiful name my friend!
Attitude is everything Melissa! And thanks!
There's a human side to every equation Ray... you get it!
So, so true. We also need to (and most of us have had to) to do this for each other (I mean our fellow agents, brokers, escrow officers, lenders....) from time to time. Especially in these timse. Thanks for brining it to our attention. Hugs all around!! Pam
Mel, funny you should quote Michael Josephson in response to my comment. His Bar Review Course helped me hurdle the California Bar exam. A few years later, he developed the Josephson Institute of Ethics. I'm a huge fan!
GMTA, Brian
I so agree Pam! And it's always nice to see your smiling face! Thanks for all you do!
Brian ~ I love Michael's practical, reasonable and ethical approach to things! Ditto GMTA ;)
Melinda-I have personally been in a place where many are today. It is one of the most emotional situation a homeowner will ever face. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Congrats on the feature.